Procrastination will cause my death!



Although everyone has been very supportive of me.
Even Mum and Dad says they dun mind me being jobless,
and that I can use this phase to concentrate on my uni-studies.


BUT....

I really don't know what i want!
Future seems bleak.

I don't wish to be a failure.
I don't want to be jobless.
I can't continue being a lazybum.. or a wastrel.

I failed the Advanced test on Mon.
Means I still can't start work yet.

And I'll have to retake the test on Friday.
Not to say pay another time for the exam.

Hopefully I will pass.

I know everyone will console me and say : "don't give up, you can always try again!"

I hope!


I hate taking photos or looking at my photos. I just wish I can hide forever.
I worry if I attend outings and can't reject my friends' good intentions. Forcing on fake smiles.Refrain from being a spoilsport. But everytime I'll go home with a heavy heart worrying if I look hideous.

Thank god for delete buttons.
Only when I know the ugly photos won't resurface then I can smile.

Imperfections.
Insecurities.


Can you stop haunting me??