I think I've gone into hiding quite successfully.
It wasn't until Angel told me...
- concerned frds asked her why, whether the 2 of us had a fight or cold war.

Wasn't until Liwen msged me.

Mel visits me at work whenever she's working near too, and ask abt me.
She listens, consoles, encourages me.
& even update me on the rest.

In the end when we part, she'll even remind me not to MIA too often.

..........
and the others who left msgs for me.

I'm deeply thankful for frds who care.

Sorry for the missed calls/rejected outings/parties/gatherings/clubbing.
I feel very awful that they always care for me, but I disappoint them.

Meeting old frds makes me feel v awkward.
sometimes even to an extent that when I see familiar ppl ...
i face a familiar sense of fear, i dunno y my heart races violently, legs turn wobbly,
n i try to avoid them as much. praying they didn't see me.

i dun wan to let them see me ugly.. then consoling me that i'm ok.
the encouragements makes me feel more awful.

the horror of sec sch days haunts me till now....
the memory of painful remarks, comments, questions, teases, visions of people mocking me, people feeling sorry for me...

and it's killing me.
pls stop visiting me.

Sorry for all these emo-shit.

I'm glad they only happen sometimes.
I'll remind myself to be strong, normal.

I'm blogging them out in hope that I can rid them off my mind/memory.