i didn't know when i've learned to depend so much on my friends.
i take dependence as expectations. n i dun ever wan to expect anything frm them!

i jus know i'm feeling like sucha leech now.
v insecure & v much alone.

i stay in my own comfort zone.
waiting for ppl to date me out, but sumtimes i reject them.
waiting for calls & sms-es. but sumtimes i dun bother to reply.
waiting for lil notes & messagesss, to tell me tt i ain't forgotten,

but when i do receive them, i coax myself to believe they're forwarded,
i jus happen to b in tt whoever's contacts' list too.

i'm sucha pathetic arse.
nth makes me happy anymore.
work is so mundane i've nth to look forward to except off-days.
but off days ain't v much diff.

i feel like i m all alone.

But i can't blame anyone, cos i noe everyone is plagued by SIP.
My frens dun even have time for themselves, let alone the insignificant me.

but i'm jus afraid ppl think i m overbearing, irritating,
if i msg them/ask them out.

i know not everyone likes me, snd i can;t make everyone like me.
i hate my insecurities.

i need to be independent.
n yes i will try.

I 'll go home alone. Eat alone. Stop thinking about parties, social stuff.
Occupy myself by locking myself in on off-days. Reading, sleeping, celebrate being miserable or wateva.

I HATE MYSELF! n i duno y i've all these thoughts.



(dun worry abt me ok? jus venting out. think it's the haze & work-boredom.)