Wednesday, July 05, 2006
i m so scared.
so afraid of facing myself.
the pathetic state i brought upon myself.
i jus feel like yelling n vanishing forever.
run away from all this pain n heartache i inflicted upon myself.
bcos crying weakens me till i feel .
but i noe i so deserve it.
this is my retribution.
this is my sorry state,
I should have knew this day wld come isn't it?
It's just that time n again my twisted stupid mind can't control my heart.
So now i 'm just left here.
Deserted.Unwanted.Thrown away. Cast away.
Yes.
I'm jus like rubbish.
I'm ugly. I'm incomparable to her.
I'm neither attractive- interior or exterior.
I'm so ugly u jus get sick of seeing me more.
I'm stupid.
My sensitivity is larger than the size of Arnold Schwarznerger's so u avoid telling me things.the truth.
You told me u will neva lie to me.
but i noe u jus chose not to tell me certain things.
You are afraid i wld whine or cry.or act innocent.
I'm too much trouble.
I'm irritating.
I'm disgusting.
I'm so childish u can't imagine I exist.
I'm jus a foolish irritating lil kid u're sick of babysitting.
I'm too weak n useless.
Tat's y I allow myself to be hurt time n over agn.
I duno how I'm going to handle all these pain.
Can someone teach me how to be strong again?
F*** the tears.
